


Salt water

by Petra_smile



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Dead TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Emotional Manipulation, Exiled TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Gen, I thought I should mention that, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Mentioned Alexis | Quackity, Mentioned Cara | CaptainPuffy, Mentioned Darryl Noveschosch, Mentioned Floris | Fundy, Mentioned Toby Smith | Tubbo, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sad TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Self-Worth Issues, TommyInnit Misses Toby Smith | Tubbo, Video Game Mechanics, Villain Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), also DrownedInnit happens nearly at the end of the fic, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-13 19:55:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29531598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Petra_smile/pseuds/Petra_smile
Summary: When Tommy was exiled, he went through a roller coaster of emotions.But something he didn't expect was that he'd be comforted by the salty waves of the ocean near Logstedshire.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------or: author couldn't find a DrownedInnit au so she wrote one herself
Relationships: Clay | Dream & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), No Romantic Relationship(s), Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit
Comments: 21
Kudos: 306





	Salt water

**Author's Note:**

> Hi. First fic, POGGERS. Anyways I rewatched old dsmp vods and really liked the drowned Tommy au, and found none to read so I'm gonna write one!! :D and it was inspired by some art on instagram but I couldn't find the link :((
> 
> I'm not very good at writing, so sorry if it looks dumb :)  
> also sorry if theres any typo's or anything that doesn't make sense, I got 2 hours of sleep last night haha :)))))
> 
> THIS FIC IS ABOUT THE CHARACTERS THESE CCS PLAY ON THE DSMP, NOT THEMSELVES!! If they state they are uncomfortable with it, I will immediately take it down
> 
> also small TW; Manupulation, slight self worth (?), drowning, pstd. if you're not comfortable with any of these topics I recommend you not to read this, stay safe!! <33

Tommy felt empty in the rowboat with Dream. He looked back at the distant land of L'manberg, his _home_ , the land he gave everything to and yet here he was, exiled. He remembered looking at Tubbo with his heart full of hope, it was them against the world! But the look Tubbo gave him before turning around and facing Dream pierced his heart. _"Tommy, I am so, so sorry," He felt his heart drop, Tubbo then looked at Dream, "Dream I've come to the decision that the best... the most logical thing to do, is for Tommy to be exiled from L'manberg." Quackity and Fundy fuming next to Tommy. He was knocked off the wall. He looked at his best friend, who only gave him a cold glare back._

He couldn't bare to even glance at Dream, but he was sure if he looked at him he could be able to feel his stupid smug grin under that smiley mask. He never understood why he used it, to look intimidating? Well if that's what he's trying to achieve it's not working.

Ghostbur was humming a tune Tommy couldn't quite recognize. He misses _Wilbur_. He misses his brother who would beam at him when he accidentally called him 'Wilby', who would strum his guitar late at night, who was so passionate about everything. It ached him to look at Ghostbur, he's a shell of what his brother used to be. Oblivious of his surroundings.

When they arrived to the island where Tommy would be staying, it started raining, Tommy quickly built a dirt shack to protect both him and Ghostbur from the rain. When Tommy finished building it, Dream looked at him. "Drop all your items Tommy." and he began to dig a hole a few inches away from Tommy's feet. "What? No!" Tommy protested. There is no way he is going to give up his precious items to that green bastard.

"Tommy." Dream's voice got lower and more menacing, his hand slipped to the hilt of his axe.

That sent a small shiver down his spine, but he was still not going to give up his items to Dream, he was Big Man TommyInnit after all! He wasn't going to give in to a stupid green man.

Dream already knowing Tommy was going to be stubborn, unsheathed his axe and pushed Tommy to the ground, putting his axe up to Tommy's throat. "Now Tommy, drop your items or there will be consequences." Tommy's eyes were wide with fear, he gulped and slightly nodded. Dream moved his axe away from the teen and sheathed it, crossing his arms expectantly as he watched Tommy empty his inventory into the hole he dug up.

Tommy didn't know what Dream was going to do with all his items in that hole, why didn't he just make him drop the items on the ground? It'd be easier for him to pick up. Dream then lighted some TNT and dropped it in the hole. Tommy realizing what was gonna happened ran over to the other corner of the small dirt shack, it didn't do much, but it was better than being a few inches from the explosion. "WHAT WAS THAT FOR?" Tommy yelled at Dream. He only got an emotionless stare back. After a minute or two Ghostbur broke the silence when Dream walked off, likely to the boat that brought them here. "Here Tommy, have some blue." He was given a transparent crystal that was slowly turning blue. Apparently they cheered up whoever held it, he smiled at Ghostbur and thanked him.

Tommy left the dirt shack to mine some wood while Ghostbur stayed. He spent about an hour and got back with almost a stack of wood, he then started to make himself some flimsy wooden tools. They weren't that good, but it was all he had. When he finished making the tools he stayed and listened to Ghostbur rant about whatever was on his mind.

~~~

The next few days were hard for Tommy, his stubborn nature not liked by Dream. He had that axe up to his neck several times, and he hated it, he was a big man! He shouldn't have to be obeying this green bitch, but a glance at his netherite armor and his axe are enough to make anyone obey his orders. Everyday he had to give up all his progress. He hates that Dream uses TNT to blow his items up, he could just use flint and steel! He hates that every time he hears the explosion he can see flashes of red, he can see his big brother, who was always there for him, spiral into madness. He can see his other brother summoning withers and destroying what he swore to protect. He can see his father going through his son's chest with a sword while Tommy falls to his knees, eyes watering. He shakes his head, no. He doesn't want to think about his family.

He missed Tubbo, he wonders if he misses him too. He remembers when he was a little kid and ran with Tubbo in the forest, they laughed and smiled as they held hands, didn't have a worry in the world. Wilbur would always find them at sunset and tell them to go inside, that dinner was ready. One time when they were eating dinner, Techno was convincing Phil to let him start dying his hair pink. Phil said he was only 13 but after a while of convincing he had the permission to dye his hair. Him and Tubbo got green hair dye with the help of Wilbur and changed it for the pink dye. They laughed so hard when they heard the screech emerging from the bathroom and the face of horror in his face. He will never forget how silly Techno looked with neon green hair.

He stopped thinking about that. About them. It hurt to see how his family turned out.

Tommy got some stone to make flimsy stone tools for what felt like the millionth time this week. He wasn't eating as much as he had to. There was not a lot of animals in this plains biome, there was a lot of cows, but he swore he'd never eat cow meat. He went off and looked for any animals, he found a couple sheep and a chicken. Good enough. He has enough to make a bed, he has been sleeping on the floor these past days, it's very uncomfortable. He started to put up a tent near the beach, the dirt shack was nice but there's not much space for a bed. When he finished building the tent he went over to see what Ghostbur was up to. Ghostbur started building this structure made of mainly wooden logs. "This is Logstedshire! But you can call it Logsted for short." he said with an beaming smile. Tommy began to help him build Logstedshire. Anything to pass time. He started collecting oak and birch logs, when he got a good amount he came back to Ghostbur and gave them to him, he thanked him brightly and immediately went back to placing the logs.

Tommy looked up and groaned when he realized it was almost midday. Dream always came around this time and blew up his things. He started to hate Dream so much, even more than before, he always stood there obliviously and followed Tommy around after he blew up his stuff. And the worst part is that he started to say he was his only friend. Dream is NOT his friend. He hated that man more than anything in this world.

~~~

Winter was coming. The days were getting colder and shorter. He stayed in Logstedshire a lot, it was warmer than outside. He really wishes he had winter clothes right now. All he has is this stupid shirt that he hasn't taken off for weeks. He really should've been able to bring other clothes, he's probably gonna freeze to death, it's only mid December and it was already really cold, he has to get ready for the next few weeks.

He got out of the small cabin that was inside Logsted and ran over to his tent. He smiled when he saw the small sign with 'tnret' that Ghostbur had written one day, he laughed so much when he saw that sign and kept it. He went inside the fragile tent and peeked inside his ender chest. He sighed "Guess i'm gonna have to wear this" he mumbled to no one in particular and took out Wilbur's old trench coat. It was raggedy and had some holes torn into it, probably because of the TNT. It had a small L'manberg flag sewn into it's left sleeve, he smiled fondly at it, tears threatened to rise up now that realization hit him:

_He was probably never going to see L'manberg ever again_

~~~

Tommy woke up in the sea today. He didn't know how or what happened for him to end up there at night, he paid no attention to it, it was probably a dream.

Tommy cried yesterday. It was Tubbo's birthday yesterday, and he wanted nothing more than to be with his best friend again. He begged Dream to let him see Tubbo just this one time. But Dream kept saying no. When Dream got enough of Tommy's pleas he pushed him to the ground and placed an armored boot on Tommy's chest and stomped. Tommy screamed and begged Dream for forgiveness, that he wasn't going to do it again, to please let him go.

When Dream pulled his boot off the teen, Tommy scattered up to his feet quickly, wide eyed and trying to calm his breathing. "For this I'm not going to visit for a week, you haven't been behaving the way I want you to Tommy." Dream started to walk towards the portal "Wait- please n-no don't leave me alone I-" And with that he was gone though the portal. After a while, Tommy went through the portal, for no reason at all other than to stare at the lava as it's heat welcomed Tommy. He was in the Nether for hours before Ghostbur found him.

Ghostbur wasn't as ignorant and oblivious as everyone thought he was. He was worried for Tommy. When he couldn't find Tommy anywhere in Logstedshire, he went to the Nether for faster travel to get to L'manberg but stumbled upon Tommy at the edge of a cliff as he dangled dangerously close to falling into the pit of lava under them. Tommy's eyes no longer had their shine in them. It was like he wasn't even there. Ghostbur didn't know what to do. He tried to think what made Tommy's eyes shine like if they were little falling stars. And then he got an idea. Tubbo! Tommy has always loved Tubbo with all his heart. It broke his heart to see Tommy like this...  
Maybe he could make Tubbo visit him! Yeah, that would surely make Tommy happy!

Christmas eve rolled in pretty quickly. Tommy and Ghostbur moved the tree that Puffy brought them over to Logstedshire, Tommy still can't believe how she managed to move an entire tree over here. She lived near his former house in the Dream SMP and that is really far away, but he appreciates it. Both of them had a pretty good time, a small part of him wished that Techno, Phil and Tubbo would be here to celebrate like old times, but no, he was still scared of Techno and still hadn't forgiven Phil for killing Wil and for not being there for them when they needed it the most. He did not want them here, yet he still longed for Techno's dry sarcastic humor, Wilbur singing Christmas carols, Tubbo snuggling close to him and Phil wrapping his wings around all of them and falling asleep on the couch.

He was brought out of his thoughts by Ghostbur. "Tommy are you okay?"

"Yeah, i'm fine Ghostbur." 'You're not' said a small voice inside of him. He flashed a weak smile towards his dead brother.

They chatted for a while and then Ghostbur's eyes widened, "Oh my god! How could I have forgotten? Wait here I need to go get something!". He then exited the cabin inside Logstedshire in a hurry. When he came back he was holding something shiny in his hands. "So I asked myself, what does TommyInnit like? His favorite thing in the whole wide world, is Tubbo!" He was given a compass that shone in a purple hue, there were words engraved in it, it read 'Your Tubbo'. He noticed the compass came with a chain, he put it through his head and wore it like a necklace. "I know you really like Tubbo, and that you really miss him. So I got you this! That compass will point you to wherever Tubbo is. I'm sorry I couldn't get the actual Tubbo to visit, but he's been very busy." Tommy was taken aback, for the first time in a long time he smiled genuinely. "I- Thank you Ghostbur, I couldn't have asked for something better." He said while still looking at the compass, he looked back up to his brother and tackled him with a hug, Ghostbur started laughing and hugged Tommy back. They stayed like that for a while. Maybe he didn't need Philza and Techno for it to feel like home.

~~~

Two months passed and Tommy is doing very poorly. He's malnourished, he's very skinny and his once bright baby blue eyes turned into a foggy navy blue, he's got bags under his eyes, his clothes torn and dirty, his hair a mess of greasy strands. He should probably take a bath, but he's too tired to do it, plus no one visits him anymore except from Dream, at the start of exile he got a few visitors, like Bad and Puffy, even Ghostbur stopped coming, is it really that depressing that not even a ghost wants to come hang out? Dream is a good friend, he always comes over and hangs out with him, once he even let him borrow his trident! Tommy would be lost without him. He wants the best for Tommy. He didn't need anyone else, not like they cared about him. Neither Tubbo or his family has come to visit once, well, he thought he saw Technoblade once but he was probably hallucinating.

During those two months, he started waking up in the ocean more and more often until he woke up every day in underwater. The first time he thought he was dreaming but each time he woke up underwater it was harder to reach up to the surface. When he woke up underwater now, he didn't reach for the surface until his lungs started to burn. The salty water being like a tight embrace from his family, never letting go and sinking him further down, he liked it. Sometimes it whispered sweet nothings that sounded too perfect to be true, when he closed his eyes he could see Tubbo reaching his hand out to him, but he could never quite reach him. One time he was able to brush his fingers with his but his lungs instantly started burning. Once he swam to shore, he laid on the sand for hours, holding the Tubbo compass close to his heart. He could feel the warm tears falling down his face.

He missed home, he missed L'manberg, he missed Tubbo. _His_ Tubbo. But he wasn't missed back there, he hadn't had any visitors for a while now. If they truly cared they would at least send him a letter, anything for him to know that they still remember him. He knows it's only been roughly three or four months (He didn't how long it exactly had been, he stopped counting days), but Dream always told him how nice L'manberg looked, how nice it looked _without him_.

He shook those away thoughts, it wasn't the time to grieve. His mind wondered over to how he ended up underwater every single night. It has to be someone dumping him into the water, isn't it? He shivers at that thought. Who would do that? Nobody visits anymore so he doubts anyone who would have malicious intent towards him would even know his location. Could it be Technoblade? He sometimes sees him hiding in the forest, Technoblade might be a warrior but he sure is shit at hiding. How does he even know where he is? What does he want from him?

If he gets any closer, he'll tell Dream. Dream will always protect him. He's the only one that cares, he's always here for him, maybe he should tell him that he's been seeing Technoblade. Would he be mad if he tells him? Something inside him tells him to go to Techno. Family, protection, help says a tiny voice inside his head. He denies those thoughts. Technoblade was never any of those things, maybe when they were small and he'd ask him to spar with him, when any threat was nearby that could hurt Tommy, Techno would make sure it never came near Tommy ever again, and now? He became the threat. He became one when he destroyed the country he loved with all his heart, when he nearly killed Tubbo with those damned fireworks. Tommy can't be bothered to care that there's a pig prick stalking him.

He should stop thinking and get to work, if Dream comes and he doesn't have anything to blow up he'll be mad. He stands up and makes a beeline towards the opposite side of the forest where Technoblade hides. He starts collecting wood, but he just can't continue. He can feel eyes staring into him and clawing at his back. He turns around to face Technoblade with a scowl. "TAKE A PICTURE. IT'LL LAST LONGER." He yells. He grins when he sees the figure retreat into the darkness of the forest. "DICKHEAD." He shouts again. He knows Techno heard that. He returns to mining wood with a smug grin on his face.

~~~

A month went by and Tommy was pretty much done with life. No one visited anymore. Dream even came less often, but still came.

"Hey Tommy." Dream shifted as he looked down at the teen, he was hugging his knees and sitting down by the shore, staring at his shoes that were about to break, he looked broken and devoid of life. Tommy gave him a grunt as a response. Dream sighed dramatically and crouched down next to Tommy in the sand, he cocked his head to one side, looking at Tommy intently. "See, that's why no one likes you. No wonder i'm your only friend!" Dream chuckled, venom dripping from his words. "I'm the only one who can actually stand you like this, have you looked at yourself? You look terrible!" He saw the way the blond hugged his knees a little tighter, a grin crept under his mask.

Dream asked him to give him his items. Tommy simply dug a hand into his pocket and retrieved a few sticks, laying them on the ground a few inches away from Dream's boots. "Is this all?" He asked with a mocking tone. Tommy slightly nodded his head and Dream scoffed. He took the sticks and dug a hole far away enough that it wouldn't hit the teen, but close enough that it'd make him flinch. When he lit the piece of TNT he walked over and stood next to Tommy. He observed as the explosion took place in the quiet island, making Tommy flinch and put his hands on his head and pull tightly at his hair. When he finally stopped tugging at his hair and raised his head, he could see a flash of fear pass through the glassy blue eyes. But it left as fast as it came. Dream left some minutes later and Tommy was left alone. With only the sound of the salty waves calling to him.

Tommy hated letting his friends down, but when he realized he let every single one of them down, he gave up. He felt so useless. Dream was the only friend he had left and he failed him already. He only wishes that he could just disappear like the leaves that fall down trees and get carried away with the wind. Tommy tugged at the Tubbo compass. He didn't want to go back to L'manberg anymore, sure he wanted to see his friends, but he's not worth it. He remembered the times where it was just him and his family. No wars, no sadness, where the only conflict was about who got the last cookie in the cookie jar. He smiled fondly and looked at the sea. It's salty waters being even more welcoming than the lava in the Nether. Maybe he could just be taken by the gentle tides of the water and disappear.

Slowly but surely he entered the ocean, he could feel the soft waves hit his legs. He then swam so he was far enough from land that no one would find him. When he swam deeper into the ocean he felt himself be hugged once again by the tight embrace of the salt water. He then closed his eyes and imagined himself being in L'manberg, donning the old revolutionary uniform. He climbed up the wall and sat down next to Tubbo. They didn't exchange any words yet the air felt so meaningful. The hot sun dipping down, coloring the sky in pink and purple hues. He always enjoyed days like these. He remembered Tubbo and him always had this saying _'them against the world'_. Tommy sighed, letting out some of the last air he had in his lungs. 'I'm sorry Tubbo,' he thought. 'I couldn't make it.'.

Those were his last thoughts as he passed out.

* * *

...

Tubbo had recently been informed that his best friend died. He locked himself up for days. He only came out to give the rest of his cabinet tasks and paperwork they needed to fill in. He could feel himself crumbling even more as he held the Tommy compass so tight that his knuckles went white. Later that week they held a proper funeral. Everyone in L'manberg came to the funeral. Even Philza and Technoblade were invited to it. Everyone was devastated. L'manberg without Tommy was so quiet, the months he was gone might have been worse than the days when there was an obsidian wall covering all of the town, because then Tommy was there, cracking jokes and cheering the mood, even though he was the reason for that wall.

It was time for the funeral. Tubbo couldn't tear his eyes away from the empty casket. A small voice in his head told him that Dream never found the body, so he must be alive. But the logical part of him knew that was wishful thinking. Two seats away from him sat his adoptive family. Philza looked devastated. Technoblade held that emotionless look but if you paid enough attention, you could tell that the hybrid's ears were drooped down. Wilbur has his hands curled into fists on his lap, he looked fuming but his eyes were glassy and teary; apparently Wilbur had been revived a few weeks ago. Tubbo felt horrible. This was partially his fault. He exiled Tommy and left him to die. He didn't even visit his friend _once_.

~~~

A few months after the funeral, everything went back to normal. The young president attending to meetings, completing tasks to make his country better, help his citizens, and much more. But he missed Tommy. L'manberg would never be the same. It felt... _fake_. Without his boisterous laughs and his cobblestone towers. He felt himself once again drowning in his thoughts of guilt and what if's. He was brought out of his thoughts as he heard Quackity call for him. You could tell he was in a hurry. "TUBBO? I NEED YOU". Tubbo ran down to where he was, "Big Q? Are you alright?" He asked in a concerned tone. "I just- I can't explain it. Just come with me." And with that Quackity was off running to the docks, Tubbo followed as fast as he could. When they arrived at the docks Tubbo's face paled at the image before him:

Fundy trying to keep someone from running off, but as soon as he got a better glance at this said person, he realized why Quackity had been is such a hurry. It was Tommy. _Tommy_. He looked confused. You could see though his skin, his figure seeming semi transparent, like Ghostbur. His skin was pale but in a slight shade of... blue? No. More like a teal actually. His clothes were ripped and worn-out. He had seaweed wrapped all around him and he looked like he was underwater all the time. With the way his clothes swayed gently as if there were water currents going through them. His hair was also waving like if it were underwater, but instead of the blond color he used to have, it was almost white. His eyes lacked color and the shine that used to emerge from them was gone.

"Tommy?" Was all Tubbo was able to say, it sounded so broken when he said it. Tommy looked at him with no emotion, then he glanced around his surroundings. "Tommy, you- you're back!" He was almost at the verge of crying. The next thing Tommy said shattered his heart.

"I'm sorry- I don't think I know you...you must be confusing me with another person," Quackity and Fundy glanced at each other in panic. "But I'd appreciate it if you helped me find my friend Dream!"

That was what broke Tubbo completely. He didn't remember him-

"But it was us against the world..."

**Author's Note:**

> haha pain :)
> 
> I think you can tell I like the "its us against the world" phrase huh  
> anyways I hope you enjoyed and ty for reading <333  
> :DD
> 
> edit: omg, TY FOR ALL THE KUDOS!! :DD I appreciate it <33


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